Stardust
Created on February 15, 2023.
Hey, hey, hey, what's up Las Vegas?! It's your boy Kevin Hart, and I'm coming to you live from the legendary Stardust casino! Now, for those of you who don't know, the Stardust is where it's at, baby! I mean, this place has it all: slot machines, blackjack tables, roulette, and of course, the legendary buffets! I mean, seriously, if you leave this place hungry, it's your own damn fault!
But let me tell you something, this place ain't just about the gambling and the food, oh no. It's also about the people, and let me tell you, the people here are a whole different breed. You got the high rollers, the low rollers, the old-timers, and the first-timers, all in one place, all trying to hit it big. And let me tell you, when those slot machines start going off, it's like music to my ears! It's like, "ding ding ding ding ding!" and I'm like, "that's my rent money, baby!"
Now, of course, not everyone wins big at the Stardust. I mean, if they did, this place would be bankrupt! But you know what they say, it's not about winning or losing, it's about how much you can drink while you're doing it! And speaking of drinking, have you guys seen the waitresses here? Oh my God, it's like a Victoria's Secret fashion show! And they just keep coming back, like, "more drinks, sir?" and I'm like, "you don't have to ask me twice, baby!"
But let me tell you, the real fun at the Stardust is in the shows. I mean, they've got everything from magic acts to acrobats to comedians like me! And let me tell you, the crowds here are wild! I mean, you guys know how to have a good time! You're like, "yeah, Kevin Hart, make me laugh!" and I'm like, "alright, alright, alright, let's get it poppin'!"
Now, you might be thinking, "Kevin, how do you come up with all these jokes?" Well, let me tell you, it's all about observation. I mean, look around this place, there's comedy gold everywhere you look! Like that guy over there at the blackjack table, he's got more chips than a Pringles factory! Or that couple over there, they're making out like they just won the lottery! I mean, it's like, get a room, people!
But you know what really cracks me up? The slot machine names. I mean, who comes up with this stuff? You've got "Lucky 7s," "Big Win Bonanza," and my personal favorite, "The Wheel of Misfortune." I mean, that's just cruel, man! But hey, if you're feeling lucky, go ahead and give it a spin, just don't come crying to me when you lose your life savings!
Now, I know what some of you might be thinking, "Kevin, aren't you afraid of gambling addiction?" And to that, I say, "no way, man!" I mean, I'm a professional comedian, I don't have any money to gamble with! But seriously, gambling addiction is a serious issue, and if you or someone you know is struggling with it, don't be afraid to reach out for help. There's always a way out.
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